Compulsiveness is coming from ingrained memory.
强迫性来源于根深蒂固的记忆。
细想我自己的种种坏习惯,很多是收到刺激,产生的应激反应,情绪的发泄口?无聊时的消遣,种种行为模式,源于记忆力的快感。像是实验里的小白鼠,踩动踏板,会掉奶酪。这个行为模式一旦被刻意训练。发生以下几种情况:
- 踩踏板,在掉奶酪的同时,会电击老鼠
- 踩踏板,不再掉落奶酪
- 踩踏板,不再掉落奶酪,但是会电击老鼠
无论哪一种情况的发生,一旦行为模式被确立,老鼠都会接续踩踏板,无论是有没有奶酪,不管是会不会遭受到电击,它都乐此不疲。
essentially compulsiveness means something is going cyclical. You are not able to beat the cyclical movement that's happening within you either psychologically, emotionally, energy-wise, or physically in your behavior patterns. Maybe you are noticing only the behavioral patterns, the compulsive nature of your behavior; you are not noticing the compulsive nature of your thought unless it becomes very acute
本质上,强迫性意味着事情是循环的。你无法瓦解自己内在所发生着的循环过程,无论它是心理上、情感上、能量上, 或者身体上的行为模式。也许你只注意到行为模式,你行为的强迫性,你没注意到你念头的强迫性,除非它变得非常尖锐
记忆是人类特殊的能力,既是快乐源泉,也会让人沉陷在痛苦模式中难以自拔。儿时的创伤、过去种种行为模式,我们的挣扎、对抗、不放下,造就了今日之我。寻求改变、不意味着否定过去,只需要知道,明日之我,因今日的变化而变。
变化是流动性的,不停息的。
老生常谈的道理:“活在当下。”其实就是在告诉我们,此刻,此地。修行未必非要跑到深山老林,心不静,念不通达。到了山里仍然念都市的繁忙,少不了的红尘俗事。
一个三岁的男孩告诉他朋友:“我长大后,我要和隔壁的女孩结婚。”所以这个朋友问:“为什么?”这个男孩说:“因为不允许我过马路。”这个笑话讲的是我们当下的困境,我们活在自己狭小的现在,未来究竟如何,我们无从知晓,用过去的行为习惯来限定今日之我,定义今天的我,似乎也是不合时宜的。
There are no good habits; all habits are bad because...habit means you're trying to operate in a compulsive pattern. When you feel thirsty, you drink water. No, no, not like that; doctor tells you, "every day, 3 liters of water," half the time you're in the pee place. (Laughter) No, doctor should not tell you when to drink water. You must be conscious when you need water – something so simple!
没有好习惯,所有的习惯都是坏的,因为……习惯意味着你试图按一种强迫模式运作。当你口渴时,你会喝水。不,不,不是这样的,医生告诉你“每天喝三升水”,一半时间你都在厕所。(笑声)不,医生不应该告诉你什么时候该喝水,你必须要意识到什么时候需要喝水——这么简单的事!
身体像植物一样需要:
- 阳光
- 水
- 休眠
这些顺其自然的接纳,不需要挣扎,靠近自然。
When it's all set, it looks like you're functioning efficiently. Yes, you are. Efficiency without a heart is no good; it's cruel.Adolf Hitler is very efficient, but inhuman. This is what will happen in everybody's life: unknowingly, you become tyrannical. Maybe you will never be, fortunately, as capable as him, but you will become equally cruel to yourself and everybody around you, because you have your stupid sense of discipline. Now... "
当一切都被设定时,会貌似你在高效地运作。是的,你在。但无心的高效不是好事,是残忍。阿道夫·希特勒很高效,但没有人性。这就是每个人的生命中都会发生的事情:不知不觉中,你变得专横起来。幸运的是,也许你永远不会有他那样的能力,但你会同样残酷地对待自己和周围所有人,因为你有愚蠢的纪律意识。
对自己、身边的人温柔一些。
我似乎看的到自己的影子,专治、暴力,自己的刺伤了人,又伤了自己。当然,有这种觉醒是好事,知道难以改变,又徒增痛苦。这种知行之间的鸿沟,是年轻时,我痛苦的来源。
So, compulsiveness – don't try to counter it; don't try to forcefully beat it; you just have to become conscious. This is like the light and darkness business; you don't fight with the darkness – that will be foolish. Compulsiveness is an expression of lack of consciousness. You don't have to fight it; if you become more conscious, compulsive patterns will just disappear. It is like, if you turn on the lights, darkness is gone – you don't have to fight with it. If you fight with darkness, you are on an endless fight.
所以,强迫性——不要试图对抗它,不要试图强行打败它,你只需要变得有意识。就像光明与黑暗,不要与黑暗斗争——这很蠢。强迫性是缺乏意识的一种表现,你不用与之抗争,如果你变得更有意识,强迫模式就会消失。就像,如果你开了灯,黑暗就消失了——你不用去与它抗争。如果你与黑暗抗争,那会永无休止。